Id like to say a few words
In defense of our country
Whose people arent bad nor are they mean
Now the leaders we have
While theyre the worst that weve had
Are hardly the worst this poor world has seen
J'aimerai dire quelques mots
En défense de notre pays
Dont les habitants ne sont pas plus mauvais que les autres
Maintenant nos dirigeants
Même si ce sont les pires que nous ayons eu
Ne sont pas les pires que ce pauvre monde a vu
Lets turn historys pages, shall we?
Tournons quelques pages d'histoires, voulez vous ?
Take the Caesars for example
Why within the first few of them
They were sleeping with their sister
Stashing little boys in swimming pools
And burning down the City
And one of em, one of 'em
Appointed his own horse Consul of the Empire
Thats like vice president or something
Prenons les empereurs romains par exemple
Même les meilleurs d'entre eux
Couchaient avec leurs soeurs
Violentaient les enfants dans les thermes
Et brulaient leurs cités
Et l'un d'entre eux, l'un d'entre eux
Fit de son cheval un consul de l'empire
Quelque chose comme un vice- président (jeu de mot sur vice ?)
Thats not a very good example, is it?
Ce n'est pas un très bon exemple, non ?
But wait, heres one, the Spanish Inquisition
They put people in a terrible position
I dont even like to think about it
Well, sometimes I like to think about it
Mais attendez, il y en a un autre, l'inquisition espagnole
Qui mit tant de gens dans d'horribles situations
Que je préfère ne pas y penser.
Just a few words in defense of our country
Juste quelques mots en défense de notre pays

j'arrète là pour le moment, la suite demain, il est tard!)
Whose time at the top
Could be coming to an end
Now we dont want their love
And respect at this point is pretty much out of the question
But in times like these
We sure could use a friend
Hitler. Stalin.
Men who need no introduction
King Leopold of Belgium. Thats right.
Everyone thinks hes so great
Well he owned The Congo
He tore it up too
He took the diamonds, he took the gold
He took the silver
Know what he left them with?
Malaria
A President once said,
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
Now it seems like were supposed to be afraid
Its patriotic in fact and color coded
And what are we supposed to be afraid of?
Why, of being afraid
Thats what terror means, doesnt it?
Thats what it used to mean
[To the first eight bars of "Columbia The Gem Of The Ocean"]
You know it pisses me off a little
That this Supreme Court is gonna outlive me
A couple of young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now too
But I defy you, anywhere in the world
To find me two Italians as tightass as the two Italians we got
And as for the brother
Well, Plutos not a planet anymore either
The end of an empire is messy at best
And this empire is ending
Like all the rest
Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea
Were adrift in the land of the brave
And the home of the free
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.